Needles, Or How To Get Turned On At the Dentist's Office Without Really Trying

Some people like shoes. Others have a thing for feet. Some dig rubber. I'm a needle type of guy. Not like some people are into getting pierced, although that's pretty hot too. I just like to get stuck with a needle. This particular realization came to me one day as I sat in the dentist's chair about to have a rather painful tooth forcibly removed. I think I was maybe 15 or 16 years old. At the time I was dating my first (and to this day still the best and most interesting) sexual partner, a girl of about 17. Anyway, before he could pull my tooth, the dentist had to give me something for the pain, and this came in the form of a novocaine shot into my gums. What he told me was that I'd feel a bit of pressure and maybe a stinging sensation. What I felt in reality was a kind of electric shock that traveled all the way through my body. It was a feeling my body instantly responded to, and instantly wanted to feel again. He left me there for about 15 minutes, and when he came back, asked me if I could feel anything in the area of the shot...to which I immediately replied that yes, I still could (which was sort of a lie...but I wanted him to stick me again). He obliged by administering another dose. Sadly, I couldn't actually feel the needle this time, but the idea of it still sent me reeling again. Some day I hope to find someone I can trust enough to push a needle through my skin, maybe to pierce me or tattoo me in an intimate setting... I may have found that person, although I'm not sure yet. I've been keeping my fingers crossed. Till then I keep looking forward to my next tetanus shot or visit with the dentist.

Fiskill Ridge. Empire of the Ants. The Lonely Bulldozer.

As many times as I've visited Fishkill Ridge it never fails to fascinate me. The views are fantastic, the climb is moderate, and it's just littered with things to see, from the sublime to the bizarre. Kudos to Scenic Hudson and the people of Fishkill for saving it from the developers, and good job as well to Scenic Hudson for the recent improvements at the trailhead on Sunnyside Drive. The red overlook trail switchbacks up Lamb's Hill, a 1.75 mile steady uphill on a grade that is often deceptively mild, and will have you sweating and breathing a little heavy no matter what shape you're in. Parts of the trail are along rock-littered escarpments that can be slick after a rain or even on a particularly humid day. The payoff at the summit is a 180 degree panorama of the mid-hudson valley and the northern hudson highlands. On a clear day with low humidity, the views are far-reaching. Looking north, you see the entire long reach from the Newburgh-Beacon Bridge to the Mid-Hudson Bridge. To the west and northwest stretch the lines of the Shawangunk Ridge and the Catskill High Peaks. Look south and see the Beacon Range, Storm King, Sugarloaf, the Dunderburg, the Tymp, and if the air is clear, you'll see, tiny but distinct on the horizon the New York City skyline. The red intersects the white trail and ends at the summit. Hang a right on the white trail and you'll be headed off to Mt. Beacon, but that's for another day. Today we take a left and follow the white trail into the dwarf forest that crowns the ridge. The trail winds in and out of hollows, crisscrossed with a maze of unmarked trails, old farm roads and atv tracks. The sheer number of intersecting paths can be a bit mindboggling, but Scenic Hudson has done an excellent job, and the white trail is well marked and easy to follow. Not far from where the red trail ends, I came upon the biggest ant hill I've ever seen in my life outside of the Discovery Channel. No lie, the thing is at least 18 inches high and four feet across, dotted with what must be hundreds of entrances and brimming with little red ants hurrying to and fro. It is truly astounding. I had no idea that the little buggers that make the little hills in the cracks of the sidewalk could be so industrious if left to their own devices. Whenever I come here I can't help stopping to watch them for a few minutes, fascinated. I also must admit that it's a tad creepy as well- benign as I knw them to be, I always have a fleeting vision of them suddenly swarming me en masse as I stand there watching them. I can see the headline now- "Missing Hiker's Clothing and Gear Found Near Gigantic Ant Hill; Body Still Missing, Authorities Baffled" -I wonder who'd play me in the movie.


Moving on, as yet unmolested by the ants (and there are several other very large hills along the way), eventually I reach another intersection and another of the ridge's many oddities. The intersection of the white and blue trails, unofficially but universally known as 'Dozer Junction. Any question as to the origin of this interesting nickname is quickly put to rest by the bulldozer sitting abandoned along the side of what was once a road leading over the ridge from Beacon to Fishkill. This bizarre artifact has been well-documented in pictures, but I couldn't help snapping one of my own to share. I always feel a little sorry for it, as it will probably continue to sit there until it has rusted back into the mountain.

At this point I abandon the white trail in favor of the blue, a short connector that leads to the yellow Wilkinson Memorial Trail. A right turn here leads off to Scoffield Ridge, Putnam County's highpoint. A left, my direction, leads down to an escarpment overlooking Hell Hollow, one of my favorite places to sit and brood. A deep notch between the two hills, Hell Hollow is a wild, boulder choked drop. The opposite hillside is a sheer vertical cliff with hemlocks clinging precariously to the sides. I've sometimes seen ravens circling here, and many times have startled wild turkeys strutting along the trail. It's a lonely, slightly spooky and beautiful place that I like best when I have it to myself.

Shortly after leaving Hell Hollow the yellow trail heads steeply downhill toward the trailhead on Reservoir Road, after intersecting the lower loop of the white trail. I follow the white for a nice easy ramble along an old woods road before heading uphill one last time to Bald Hill, which affords an interesting vista that includes an active quarry and Downstate Correctional Facility. The prison view brings thoughts of crime, punishment and handcuffs to mind, which in turn leads me to a whole new avenue of thought. But that's for another story. Turning back to the white trail, I follow it back to Lamb's Hill where I pick up the red that will take me back to my car and home.

Total Distance- approx. 8 miles.
Lamb's Hill Elevation- 1,496 ft. with a gain of 800 - 1,000 feet.
Total Elevation Gain- approx. 1,200 - 1,500 feet.